Top 10 EHS Movies Never Made

1. The Severity Matrix

Unfortunately, Keanu Reeves didn’t have time to undertake a ‘suitable and sufficient’ risk assessment before he decided to go down that rabbit hole. Had he done so using a standard risk matrix he might have changed his mind. Of course, being ‘The One’ and having the ability to manipulate time and dodge those slow-motion bullets makes avoiding risk a bit easier than us mere mortals.

2. First Aiders of the Lost Ark

If there’s one man who knows how to get himself into a scrape, its Indiana Jones (and by extension Harrison Ford, more on him later…)

Laws in the 1930s were of course different, and sadly OSHA doesn’t list whip-cracking archaeologists as an industry on its list of standards relating to first aid. However, with 3 million workplace accidents in 2014, we’d like to think that he keeps a small first aid kit under his hat, just in case any of those pesky snakes turn up...

3. Escape Fear

How to escape fear? How about implementing Safe Systems of Work, Tool Box Talks, and Observations reporting within your business? No one should come to work and be put under unnecessary risk – everyone from the top to the bottom of an organization can make safety important. And if it’s not? Then you’ll have Max Caddy under your car on the way home to remind you! (Robert DeNiro or Robert Mitchum, they’re both equally scary).

4. Scar Cause Episode IV: A Blue Rope

We already covered the health and safety hazards in the Star Wars universe*. However, this movie franchise would specifically cover the need to protect your employees from danger by ensuring all hazards are clearly marked and that slips and trips are prevented when possible. Maybe not as exciting as flying the Millennium Falcon or blowing up the Death Star, but infinitely more important for your organization, and not a Ewok or Jar Jar in sight.

*Remember, you can ‘use the force’ to make positive interventions in your organization at any time – contact us and maybe we can help.

5. Be(e)n Hur(t)

Luckily chariot racing is seldom seen these days, and although more action packed than, say, Formula 1, it’s definitely not as safe. We all know that safety belts save lives, and none of the chariots in the movie have any installed, though this is less of a consideration when there’s also an angry Roman trying to whip you and dozens of stampeding horses around about you.… it’s important to ensure that you have not Been Hurt at work, and won’t be hurt at work.

When harm does occur, whether you're in the Roman Empire or not, it's important to investigate it appropriately to avoid recurrence.

6. Monty Python and the Slowly Fail

Be you a Shrubber like Roger The Shrubber (who arranges, designs and sells shrubberies) or King Arthur himself, it’s important to maintain good standards of safety, especially when dealing with any blades, knifes or large swords. OSHA offers great advice for those operating saws (maybe you should have done Casualties of Saw instead… Ed).

Similarly, with no cars or public transport, it’s important to be safe on your transport – the noble horse. The HSE in the UK even offers a qualification on safety and horses. Stick to the rules, and you won’t slowly fail. You might even be the Messiah and not a naughty boy! (Wrong film... Ed)

7. Million Dollar Boo Boo

Everyone makes mistakes (like trying to come up with ten movies for this list for example...) but if you work in a highly regulated, high risk industry, a failure to plan can mean a plan to fail. Similarly, if you are in charge of a large budget or project, it is important to make sure everything goes to plan.

The HSE gives excellent advice on how to plan. Of course it takes time and a lot of effort, but it's important. Like the star of Million Dollar Baby Hilary Swank, its quality over quantity – she’s made less than 20 movies, but has two Oscars to her name.

Take your time, choose and implement your plan methodically and your risk of making a Million Dollar Boo Boo is much lower. (Learn more about the cost of noncompliance here.)

8. Once Upon A Time In The Hi-vis Vest

An image says 1000 words. Definitely not how Sergio Leone envisioned it. Also, is it just me or does our cowboy builder here look a bit like Joey Essex? (One for our UK audience). Of course, the man who thought a square had six sides is probably not the best person to do some building work for you – guaranteed hazards abound! Ensure your Health and Safety is always ‘reem’ (another for the UK readers).

9. Argh! Pause Episode VI: Return of the RSI

Yes, more Star Wars! Yes, it’s the one with the Ewoks. Argh! George Lucas – Ewoks are not funny. Just like RSI of course: repetitive strain injuries are the most common occupational health problem. With over $20 billion in compensation spent on RSI injuries each year, it’s important to take action to alleviate RSI. With other damaging conditions such as Vibration White Finger, the right PPE needs to be worn at all times. Let’s not even begin on all the HSE violations in Luke and Vader’s lightsabre battle!

10. Paths of Glory

We've not even edited this one.

Ultimately, we hope your business is on the path to glory in terms of implementing, adapting and ensuring health and safety policies and practices are in order for the benefits of your workplace. Life isn’t like the movies, but it can be close.

11. No Encounters Of Any Kind

With people jumping out of each other’s way down supermarket aisles and crossing the street when catching a glimpse of another human being, everyday life is looking more and more like the plot out of a Spielberg film. It is safe to say aliens would be lucky to bump into anyone at all if they decided to pay a visit at the moment!

12. Hoard All The Things: The Loo Fowlers

Sauron isn't the only one after something precious - it seems the entire world has suddenly turned its interest to toilet paper. If Golumn was alive in 2020, he'd be mourning the loss of precious Charmin from the shops as hoarders stock up in an unprecedented display of panic buying. Does that make the toilet the fiery Mount Doom in Mordor? Let's stop. Right there.

13. Stay Home Alone

Although Kevin's tricks go against every health and safety rule there is, you have to admit he was successful at protecting his family home from intruders. COVID-19 may not care for slippery staircases or paint pot pendulums, but keeping the doors closed sure might help.

Whether it's alone or with family (I doubt they'll be jetting off to Paris anytime soon), we can all stay home as much as possible to help flatten the curve and save lives.